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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608462">Anthem Of The Angels</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reltic/pseuds/Reltic'>Reltic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Defensive Bang Chan, Defensive Changbin, Defensive Everyone, Fluff, Gen, Hospitalization, Lee Felix (Stray Kids)-centric, Minor Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protect Felix 2020, Recovery, Whump, give them a break, not major</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:42:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608462</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reltic/pseuds/Reltic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix awoke to the loud claps of thunder.</p><p>It was so sudden and disorienting at first, because he couldn’t understand why he was wet and why the thunder sounded so much louder than he remembered. </p><p>Until he really woke up, and realized he was upside down.</p><p>---</p><p>Or: Felix ends up in a life threatening accident and all the rest of them can do is try to stay calm until helps arrives.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Lee Felix, Everyone &amp; Everyone, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) &amp; Everyone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>539</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. No Service?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story is roughly based off of the song <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW8C9j-W8BY">Anthem Of The Angels</a> by Breaking Benjamin.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were all supposed to drive to the venue together, four in each car accompanied by at least one manager for the long journey from Busan to Seoul. They were all supposed to unload onto the stage, perform as a group of eight to the waiting crowd, and enjoy the award show before returning to their dorms after a long day.</p><p>But instead, only seven left from their work trip to Busan back to Seoul, only seven unloaded onto the stage, and only one wound up helplessly wounded and terrified as the sun set on another day.</p>
<hr/><p>Jeongin had been elated at the idea of visiting his family, his home town, and he wanted to share that feeling with the rest of the group.</p><p>Chan shared in his excitement, talking up the trip the entire week leading up to it just to increase Jeongin’s antsy desire to <em> get there now </em>. The oldest always chuckled at the youngests rambles of Busan beaches, happy smiling relatives, and even his long standing Elementary school that was still open regardless of the decades it had been in use. It was his home, and Chan always wanted them to be proud of where they grew up because those streets are what molded who they were today.</p><p>The rest of the band had been listening intently to the maknae as he told them of all the places he wanted to show them, even if most of them had already visited Busan at one time or another during their life. Jeongin had been just as excited the last time they visited, and the time before that one, but no one wanted to put an end to his fun. Instead, they joined in by adding in landmarks they wanted to see or restaurants they wanted to visit.</p><p>It was an easy week leading up to their departure. They were set to arrive on Friday, spend Friday night with Jeongin’s family and Saturday morning meeting with various artists and choreographers that were supposed to offer them pointers for their next album and pitch their tracks for a few television programs, then head home Saturday evening to perform for a large scale award show that night. </p><p>Realistically, no one was going to be sight seeing, but no one was going to break the illusion that <em> maybe </em> they could at least <em> look </em> at the beach.</p><p>And the plan went perfectly, everything was coordinated down to the minute and each stop went without a hitch, at least that was until one of the choreographers had an issue with the arrangement. It was a set of moves Felix had choreographed, and it required him to tweak the chorus to the best of his ability. The managers had originally been adimitly against Felix staying to fix it, as the award show was a major performance for the group, but after further deliberation, it would be in the company's best interest to fix whatever was wrong while they were in Busan.</p><p>Which meant Felix would be staying back while the rest of them made their way to Seoul.</p><p>Minho had offered to stay back as well, as the main dancer it was his job to take charge in the dance realm, but the risk of too many of the band staying back was too high.</p><p>“If Felix stays back then they’ll have to wait to do his hair and make up,” Their manager explained to Minho who huffed in annoyance, “If too many people arrive later than usual that means more people they have to rush to prepare and that’ll make us ever more behind.”</p><p>So it was decided that only Felix would stay behind, meaning the remaining seven members of Stray Kids left right on time at 11 AM. Felix had tried to finish his responsibilities as early as possible, and even the one manager that stayed back with him had tried to offer his assistance regardless of how unnecessary his rendition of the worm was to their choreography, though it did make them laugh.</p><p>He was rather proud that he was able to finish and leave for Seoul by 1 PM, meaning he should make it back 4 PM just in time to get his makeup and hair done, dressed in his groups styled outfits before the show even starts. Their rehearsal stage took place yesterday before they departed, and all of the settings should be ready for them to hop right on stage, it was looking up for Felix and the rest of Stray Kids.</p><p>That is, until the rain started.</p><p>It was only a trickle at first, creating small droplets that cascaded down the windows in a calm manner. But as time progressed, the sprinkle turned into a downpour and the droplets became a steady stream of water that caused the tires to slide and the windshield wipers to squeak as it fought against the current.</p><p>The manager had to swerve the car along the road to prevent the tired from sliding. At first he had given Felix a murmured reassurance, insisting he could handle the weather and still get them to the show on time. But then he was struggling just to keep the car going straight, and his reassurances were disappearing until all that the manager could say was, “We need to pull over, can you call Bang Chan and let him know we’ll be late?”</p><p>Felix quickly obeyed, pulling out his cell phone and dialing the number he had saved in his favorites.</p><p>
  <em> “Hey ‘Lix, did you leave yet? I just heard it’s raining pretty hard down there.” </em>
</p><p>“Yeah, we left about two hours ago,” Felix said into the microphone as the car slowed into park alongside the empty road, “But the rain is too heavy to drive in so we had to pull over.”</p><p>
  <em> “I was worried about that… but I’m glad you’re safe. If you can’t make it, it won’t be the end of the world. I know Stay’s would be understanding.” </em>
</p><p>“Even if Stay’s understood, that doesn’t mean the company will,” Felix sighed in response as he watched the waterfall that slid down the window, it was almost impossible to see the other side of the street, “They’re going to be upset if I don’t make it.”</p><p><em> “That doesn’t matter Felix,” </em> Chan pulled the phone away from his mouth, speaking a few instructions to one of the members before returning to the phone, <em> “I would rather you be safe and miss an award show than risk your life just to please a few managers. It doesn’t matter what they think, okay? I just want you safe.” </em></p><p>Felix knew Chan was right, his life was much more important than a stupid performance, but he couldn’t help the anxiety that plagued his thoughts. What if his absence messes up the choreography? What if they win something and Felix wasn’t there to accept it alongside his members? What if their managers hold it against him for being late? After all it was his own choreography mistake that led to this mishap to begin with.</p><p>Would his members be mad at him for missing the performance?</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t over think it Felix, I promise nothing is wrong. No one is upset, especially not us. We don’t care about an award show, we care about you Lixie. And I will try my hardest to protect you if anyone has a problem with it.” </em>
</p><p>“How do you always seem to read my mind?” Felix complained, but his tone betrayed him by easing his whine into something more playful.</p><p>
  <em> “It’s the Aussie, I have powers that show me your deepest, darkest secrets. Yours must still be dormant. It’s a shame really.” </em>
</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Felix laughed, feeling much more relaxed about missing the performance than earlier.</p><p>Chan always knew how to calm any of them down. He knew them better than they knew themselves, oftentimes getting to the bottom of a problem before any of them even knew there was a problem. He was the group therapist, older brother, and responsible adult while still managing to play around with the rest of them just as much. Felix held him close to his heart, cherishing their friendship and thanking anyone who could listen to his thoughts for granting him such an amazing friend.</p><p>
  <em> “Alright, I have to head in for hair and make up. Keep me updated please? And don’t worry if you don’t make it on time. I’ll see you safe and sound at the dorms tonight.” </em>
</p><p>The phone call was over as quickly as it started, but Felix felt himself calming down the whirling thoughts as he placed his cell phone face down on the seat. The manager was on a phone call of his own, relaying their situation to someone on the other end leaving Felix to his own devices for the time being. Felix tried to look out the window, intending to see where they were parked but all he could see was the dark paved road and color street lines that clouded out as the storm blocked any further sight.</p><p>It was a good thing they stopped, trying to drive in this was like a suicide mission. The sky had darkened, from a mixture of the dark clouds and the setting sun, and the wind picked up assisting in the rain's heavy pelting against the small car. A light level of fog had settled, which only added to the eerie scenery.</p><p>Trying to look to the other side of the car only gave Felix more mystery. It was completely dark, and the car's headlights only assisted in illuminating a couple of trees. If he had to guess, they were parked along a forested road but he honestly couldn’t tell.</p><p>Felix’s head snapped to the driver as he heard the manager end his call and slump back into his seat. He took a deep breath before turning to Felix with a tense smile, “So I just got off the phone with my supervisor and told them what was going on. They tried to push me to keep driving but I vetoed that pretty quickly. If they give us any trouble when we arrive, try not to let it bother you, okay? I’ll have a talk with them.”</p><p>“They wanted you to drive?” Felix took a second glance out the window, where they could barely see further than three feet in front of them, “I don’t think that’s a good idea…”</p><p>“It’s definitely not,” The older man agreed as he surveyed the black storm around them. “They were persistent but I don’t think they realize just how bad it is here. The storm hasn’t even reached Seoul yet, but when it does I’m sure they’ll be surprised.”</p><p>The storm was already bad enough, and it left Felix wondering if they would really be able to make it back to the dorms tonight if it didn’t let up. Would the skies clear enough for them to drive? Will the pelting rain ease on its efforts and stop trying to wash the car off the road? Would they be stranded until tomorrow with yesterday's clothes and wind up at the company by lunch time?</p><p>“I’ll keep the heat on but if it gets too hot for you let me know,” The manager informed him as the warm air wafted through the car, “It might be awhile until we can get moving again.”</p><p>Felix had to say, of all the managers he could have been stuck on the side of the road with, this one was by far the best choice. Though he still wish he was sitting beside his members, joking around and preparing for their performance, combing fingers through Jisung’s hair when he inevitably messed it up, dancing trendy dances with Hyunjin in the back room, laughing at funny posts with Seungmin, curling his arms around Changbin and Chan to get his daily need for cuddles.</p><p>But he wasn’t going to get any of that, at least not <em> right now </em>.</p><p>But right now could become <em> soon </em> , could become <em> tonight </em> , could become in just a <em> few hours </em> when he finally made it back to Seoul and was trudging into their dorm rooms with welcome greetings.</p><p>Or, right now could become <em> some day </em> , could become <em> next week </em> , could become <em> hopefully </em> in a blink of eye.</p><p>A blink of an eye that resulted in blinding headlights, squealing tires, his manager calling his name, shattered glass raining down on his body, and the terrifying clash of metal on metal as one car impacted another.</p>
<hr/><p><em>“The number you have dialed</em> <em>cannot be reached. Please try again later.”</em></p><p>Chan huffed, nearly throwing his phone out of his hand as he brought the screen down to show Felix’s contact photo smiling up at him. He pushed his index finger harshly against the glass, manually typing in the phone number that belonged to the younger Australian before shoving it back up to his ear. He turned his body as he listened to the ringing, his eyes meeting Minho’s concerned stare from across the waiting room.</p><p><em>“The number you have dialed</em> <em>cannot be reached. Please try again later.”</em></p><p>“God dammit,” He cursed as he cut off the robot, it was the thirteenth unanswered call and Chan was close to losing his mind. Their performance had ended close to fifteen minutes ago and even though the entirety of Stray Kids were supposed to be seated in their respective seats to watch the other groups and wait for awards to be announced, Chan had immediately headed backstage. Minho had followed, telling Changbin to take the rest of the group to their seats while he waited for Chan to finish whatever he needed to do. Which ended up being a quick call to Felix to see how he was doing. </p><p>It had been close to 2 hours since the young rapper had told Chan he pulled over to the side of the road due to heavy rain. The managers were irate over his absence to the surprise of no one. They had hardly any time to prepare a statement when the fans inevitably demanded to know where Felix was and if he was okay. They usually tried to do damage control before an event if something would be different, but with the last minute loss of a member it was going to be hectic for everyone. Chan had assured the rest of the group that Felix was okay, just stuck in the rain when they expressed concern for his absence. He was trying to remain calm, collected, and positive, but he grew more and more pissed off when a few of their less liked managers began loudly complaining and blaming Felix for missing the performance.</p><p>Chan had sent him a text just before heading on stage and leaving his phone in his bag.</p><p><b> <em>Chan: </em> </b> <em> Hey Lixie! We’re about to get on stage. Don’t stress about not being here, it’ll all be okay. How are you holding up? </em></p><p>He didn’t give it a second thought as he packed up his phone and departed for the main stage. Performing Miroh and God’s Menu without Felix had been difficult with his voice being a major point of focus during his parts, but no one filled in the void he left. They left his spot open on purpose, because no one could fill his shoes like he could.</p><p>The crowd still cheered, loud and strong as they danced. And when Felix’s parts came on and not one of the boys came up to sing them, the crowd sang in his place. It was beautiful and heartwarming, each of those voiced were filled with compassion and understanding just like Chan knew they would be. He hoped later when Felix was reunited with them in the dorms that he could watch the recording of the show and hear the love the audience gave him.</p><p>But when he returned to his bag, pulling out his cell phone to check Felix’s message, he was met with nothing. Opening the text thread didn’t show that it had been read, the small <em> “delivered” </em>still sitting under his message. That then led to the long string of unanswered calls which left Chan feeling even more irritated than he was before.</p><p>“He didn’t answer again?” Minho already knew the answer, but the leader was so unusually angry, so frustrated and worried that Minho felt like a fish in shark infested waters. He didn’t know how to approach this situation, how to attempt to start a conversation with the boy pacing the room as he dialed for the fourteenth time only to get the same result.</p><p>“If I have to hear another robot voice telling me to call back later I’m going to punch the next computer screen I see,” Chan hissed, pulling his phone down again after and ending the phone call, “Fuck Felix, why aren’t you answering?!”</p><p>“Maybe he has no service?” Minho suggested, “I mean the rain might be messing up the signal.”</p><p>“If that was the case why is it still ringing?” Chan threw the phone down onto the sofa, letting his body crumble into the seat without a care for his stage outfit, “I get 15 rings every phone call before that stupid automated voice tells me to try again. If it was signal related it wouldn’t continuously ring like that, would it?”</p><p>“That’s a good point,” Minho contemplated, taking a more careful seat next to Chan, “Have we tried contacting the manager? Maybe he’ll answer?”</p><p>Chan shot up at the suggestion, “Why didn’t I think of that?! God I’m an idiot!”</p><p>Minho tried to say <em> “no you’re not” </em>but it would be pointless when Chan wasn’t paying any more attention to their conversation, entirely focused on his call phone as he scrolled for the other managers contact. He pressed call, bringing the phone up to his ear and expecting to hear the familiar ringing sound-</p><p><em>“The number you have dialed</em> <em>cannot be reached. Please try again later.”</em></p><p>Chan blinked at the voice that had come far sooner than he expected. He pulled the phone back as he heard the beeping sound and he was granted the opportunity to leave a voicemail. He ended the call, lowering the device into his lap.</p><p>“It didn’t even ring,” Chan muttered, his eyebrows scrunching as fear overtook his mind, “What in the hell is happening?”</p><p>“Maybe we should tell a manager,” Minho stood as he scanned the room, but none of their managers were there at the moment, “Come on we should find someone and tell them what’s going on.”</p>
<hr/><p>The crowd applauded, loud and unwavering as the next group finished their set. It was another younger group that Stray Kids were familiar with, infact Changbin could say he was rather good friends with Yeonjun and was a glorified acquaintance to the rest of TOMORROW X TOGETHER. They ended their number with a powerful pose, waiting until signaled before exiting the stage.</p><p>The remaining 5 members of Stray Kids that occupied the seats given to them clapped along, though with a slight hesitance as time passed by and the next group entered the stage. EXO was up next, and as much as the members wanted to watch their seniors perform, the three empty seats were weighing down their conscience. </p><p>Chan and Minho had disappeared close to 30 minutes ago, and it was lucky the group had yet to win an award because Changbin wasn’t sure if he could walk up to the stage and make a speech on his own. He may be the oldest among the five in their seats, but he wasn’t mentally prepared to fill Chan’s shoes.</p><p>“Do you think we should check on Channie-Hyung and Minho-Hyung?” Jisung had leaned into Changbin’s side, nearly yelling into his ear to be heard over the music, “I’m getting a little worried.”</p><p>Changbin had to agree, taking 30 minutes away from an award show just to text Felix was rather odd. Their fans had no doubt noticed their absence by now, and with Felix not being with them he couldn’t even begin to imagine what scenarios were being cooked up in their heads. The longer Chan and Minho were gone the longer the twitter threads would become, and then it was up to the company to shut down any ridiculous rumors.</p><p>“If we leave then the managers might get annoyed with us,” Changbin covered his mouth as he spoke back to Jisung, blocking the excess noise and preventing any roaming cameras from reading his lips, “It’s going to look suspicious after Felix missed the performance and both of them disappeared after the performance.”</p><p>“I honestly don’t care,” Jisung had an itch of irritation in his tone, but Changbin couldn’t blame him, “I have a bad feeling. What if something happened?”</p><p>Jisung pulled back, giving Changbin a sincere begging plea and in the process revealing three other matching faces of worry. Each of their heads were turned in his direction awaiting his next word, not a single pair of eyes on the performers. He had half a mind to not turn his own head in search of an answer to his elders, because he was the elder here. He didn’t have Chan or Minho to make the decision for him.</p><p>“Okay,” Changbin exhaled, rubbing the excess sweat that had accumulated on his palms over his pants, “Okay fine. Let’s just go see if everything’s okay. Hopefully we don’t get chewed out for ditching the ceremony.”</p><p>The rest of the boys visibly relaxed, each breathing a sigh of relief as they all tried to inconspicuously disappear from the main arena. It wasn’t going to be something that was done without notice, there were fan cameras trained on them at all times and stage cameras pointed at them as they awaited for any reaction they wanted to broadcast to the rest of the arena and audience watching at home. It was going to be plastered all over news outlets come morning.</p><p>A few staff members glanced at them in curiosity as a line of 5 idols weaved through the seats and ended up in the backstage corridors, though no one made to stop them. Changbin led the way to the room they had stored their bags in, the other four not more than half a step behind him. The heavy base of idols voices could be heard through the walls, the audience near deafening cheers were muffled by curtains and drywall, but even with all the noise the clear sound of a brewing argument cut through.</p><p>And that was <em> Chan </em>arguing.</p><p>“Oh shit, Hyung’s pissed,” Hyunjin whispered as the five boys stopped in the middle of the hallways. Various staff members passed them by, hurrying off to their next task as they remained frozen trying to decipher the sharp words coming from their leader.</p><p>“That’s probably not a good sign, is it?” Jeongin was attached to Seungmin, clutching onto his hand. It was unlike him to seek out physical affection, but in this situation Changbin could see why he might warrant such a change in character.</p><p>Chan just… didn’t get mad. At least not like this. He got annoyed, frustrated, sad, but never so furious that the venom leaked out of his words. Never like his tongue was a knife piercing into your heart as you defy him. Never like he was cursing you and everyone you know for merely standing in his presence.</p><p>This wasn’t normal.</p><p>Something bad was happening.</p><p><em> “You call him then,” </em> They could hear Minho now from around the corner, the door cracked open just enough to let the words filter out into the hall, <em> “If you’re so sure that this is just a prank, call your employee who should be obligated to answer you. Felix isn’t a child, he’s mature and responsible. This isn’t a case of a teenager messing around.” </em></p><p>“What’s going on?” Jisung peered over Changbin’s shoulder as he strained to eavesdrop on the conversation.</p><p>“Well,” Seungmin jumped in, “I would assume Felix isn’t answering his phone.”</p><p>“Should we go in?” Hyunjin questioned, but just as he finished his sentence, Chan’s voice boomed through the corridor.</p><p>“<em> Listen to me, I don’t care about your protocols, your standard, or your warped priorities. My friend and bandmate was stranded on the side of the road and now neither he nor the manager will pick up a phone. Quit treating this like it’s nothing and actually do your damn job for once!” </em></p><p><em> “This isn’t very appropriate-” </em> an unknown voice has tried to interject, but Chan’s fury was an unstoppable force.</p><p>
  <em> “No, you know what’s not appropriate? You guys acting like Felix is an incompetent child that would purposefully worry us for the sake of a prank. What’s not appropriate is you guys blaming him for a storm that was out of his control. What’s not appropriate is that fact that I have had to argue with you for 20 minutes over something that shouldn’t have even taken a second to comprehend yet you refuse to see this from a logical perspective!” </em>
</p><p>It was only getting more and more heated, but Changbin felt if he didn’t interfere now it was only going to become worse by the time he did. So all five boys walked in single file, causing 4 pairs of eyes to land on the group as they found themselves in the middle of a war.</p><p>“What on earth are you five doing here?!” The oldest manager of the two, one they've had for around 3 months, looked about ready to blow steam out of his ears, “Do any of you know how to follow instructions?! All seven of you are supposed to be out in the audience! Do you know how much of a nightmare the tabloids are going to be?!”</p><p>“If I have to hear another complaint about your fucking tabloid,” Chan growled, but Minho quickly put his arm in front of the leader in hopes of calming him. He took a few breaths as Minho pressed against his chest, trying to reign in his emotion, but it wasn’t working as well as he had hoped.</p><p>“I don’t think you understand Bang Chan,” The same manager spoke in a condescending tone, crossing his arms at the leader, “The more you all show the world that something is wrong, the more you make the fans wonder, and the more the company has to do to keep things under control. Felix missing a highly anticipated award show without warning is already enough to get the rumor mill going. But now that seven of you have disappeared not even thirty minutes after you performed, it’s going to be a massive controversy. Do you get it now? Do you get how stupid and childish this is?”</p><p>“Are you fucking kidding me?” Chan threw his hands into the air, turning around and grabbing his hair in frustration. Changbin could see the makeup artists cringing in the corner of the room, and he only just now realized that there was indeed other staff standing on the sidelines spectating that entire fight, “Do you not hear yourself? I <em> know </em> it’s going to be hell for you guys to clear this up. I <em> know </em> that you have your work cut out for you. But you know that if something is wrong with Felix, if he is in danger, that you’re still going to have to do damage control right? You know that this is uncharacteristic behavior, you just don’t want to admit it. You want to avoid the public knowing we’re worried about him and finding out you sent a search team. I fucking know that’s what this is, and it’s despicable you’d rather worry about how much work you’ll have to do and <em> willingly </em> put the blame on him than make sure Felix is okay.”</p><p>Chan was pacing now, his footsteps were heavy stomps. It was as if he was trying to course his negative emotions through his actions rather than lashing out further, and Changibn could sympathize with that. He too felt a red hot anger rising in himself, because after everything Chan said it was starting to become clear to him what was going on, “Felix isn’t okay, is he?”</p><p>“Felix is <em> fine </em>,” The oldest manager claimed, his tone sounding as if he was talking to children who refused to listen, “You’re all just jumping to conclusions. It’s raining and the signal is just bad, I’m sure we’ll hear from them soon. Last we spoke to them they had pulled over the vehicle and plan to continue once the rain lets up enough to drive.”</p><p>“Then <em> why </em> was the phone ringing, huh?!” Chan shrieked, it seemed the stomping hadn’t helped much and Minho was back to holding Chan back, “Felix’s phone rang <em> fifteen </em>times! Every! Call! Does that not seem off to you?! Not even a little bit?!”</p><p>“<em> Channie-Hyung </em>,” Minho pulled Chan into his arms, but the older was shaking with pent up emotion and disbelief. The dancer rubbed his palms over the leader's arms, trying to shake him out of his temper, “You need to calm down. I agree with you, but you’re getting too worked up.”</p><p>Changbin was about to jump in to Chan’s defense, was about to give the manager a piece of his mind too, was about to grab his bandmates and charge out of the building together, but everything halted when Chan’s phone began to ring. Chan shot up right, his head twisting to the couch he left this phone one before sprinting over to the cushion. Each of the participants followed until they were crowded around the cellphone.</p><p>It was Felix.</p><p>Chan wasted no time, picking up the call and putting it on speaker.</p><p>“Hello? Felix?” Chan’s voice was pleading, begging for Felix to say he was okay and just couldn’t get to the phone. He would live with whatever punishment he would receive for acting out if it meant Chan was wrong about everything. He would deal with the glares and dirty looks he would get if Felix could just tell him he was safe.</p><p>But when the unmistakable sound of a choking sob came through the speaker, Chan knew that wasn’t going to happen.</p>
<hr/><p>Felix awoke to the loud claps of thunder.</p><p>It was so sudden and disorienting at first, because he couldn’t understand why he was wet and why the thunder sounded so much louder than he remembered. </p><p>Until he really woke up, and realized he was upside down.</p><p>He was dangling by his seatbelt, and the contents of the entire car had been flown around the space or outside the broken windows of the vehicle that had wound up flipped. All four windows along with the front windshield had shattered, and with it was splattered blood painting the dashboard. Felix’s eyesight became fuzzy as he tried to make sense of what was going on, because none of it felt real. It was like one of his darkest nightmares come true, he must have fallen asleep waiting for the rain to stop.</p><p>But the rain hadn’t stopped, he could feel it pelting against his skin.</p><p>Pain was radiating through his body, he had sharp piercing stabs all over his skin, his skull was aching, his legs felt like numb dead wait, and his abdomen felt like he had been punched over and over again. He tried to survey the damage, but everything was so blurry and confusing that he had no idea where to start. All he knew was he could barely move his legs, he couldn’t tell if they were up or down, and his head was pounding, and his chest hurt, and the raining stung, and the blood was really really red.</p><p>And really really all over him.</p><p>His hands were coated in red, and even though the rain tried to wash it as, it kept reappearing from somewhere. Was it his legs? Were they bleeding? Or was it his head?</p><p>What happened?</p><p>Felix blinked in an attempt to clear his vision, scanning the car and outside to make sense of what was going on. He couldn’t see much, just a tree that was right next to the open window. It was too dark to tell how close he was to the street. </p><p>The street his manager had pulled over on.</p><p>Oh shit, the manager.</p><p>Felix’s head whipped back to the front of the car, searching for the man Felix had been traveling with but finding the seat empty. That was when Felix began to properly panic. The blood on the dashboard couldn’t be all his, it had to belong to the manager too. The shattered windshield wasn’t just because of a car accident, it was the result of impact. Most likely an impact involving the manager flying from his seat and out of the car.</p><p>Was he wearing a seatbelt?</p><p>Oh god.</p><p>Was he <em> dead </em>?</p><p>He needed to know, right this moment. Felix struggled to pull his body up into the seat, and the feeling in his legs was still rather absent. The strain it took to flex his core just to keep his body up was bringing tears to his eyes, and he had to wonder why he hadn’t been crying earlier because everything hurt so damn much. Everything was falling apart, the manager was missing, he was in pain, and he couldn’t feel his fucking legs.</p><p>Everything was definitely <em> not </em> okay.</p><p>He needed to prepare before he tried to free himself from his seatbelt, and that involved figuring out what was going on with his legs. He looked down where the front seat had been crushed further into the back seat, trapping his legs along with it. It was pinning him to the back seat, nearly cutting off his legs in the process. Now that he could properly analyze his situation, the seat was literally cutting into his shin, creating a waterfall of red down his legs and into his shoes.</p><p>Now that he could see it, it really hurt.</p><p>He let out an unexpected sob at the sight, letting his hand ghost around the pain as he tried to figure out what to do, how to get himself out of this situation. How was he supposed to get himself to unpin his legs that were trapped by metal digging into his shins without ripping open the rest of his legs or cutting off his limbs?</p><p>Now <em> that </em>was a dark realization.</p><p>The fact of the matter was, he really didn’t think he could get out of this on his own. He needed help, he needed to call someone who would know what to do. He needed guidance, needed support.</p><p>He needed Chan.</p><p>Felix jolted, his head shooting around frantically in search of his cellphone that he had left on the seat. What if it got thrown out of the car? What if it was too far away and Felix would never get help? If the manager really did fly through the window, what would stop a tiny screen from flying away with it?</p><p>Felix looked up in hopes of finding the cellphone within reach and was elated to see it sitting in the middle of the car, lying atop the roof with major screen damage. Felix tried to reach out for the device, but the sharp pain of metal digging into his leg made him stop with a cry. He was only a few centimeters away, if he pulled against the metal, he could reach it.</p><p>But that would definitely hurt.</p><p>Felix took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the pain. He counted down from five, nearly on the edge of bursting in tears again at just the thought of what he was going to do, but still jumped out the moment he reached one. He cried out when his flesh was ripped against the metal, but in the end his fingers pulled the phone closer to him. He grabbed it and shoved it against his chest as he tried to calm his racing heart. He couldn’t stop the tears, and he made no move to do so as he quickly opened the phone. I could see various missed messages and missed calls, most of them from Chan. He didn’t bother to read a single one, and even if he wanted to his screen was so cracked and his vision so blurry he doubted he would be able to make anything out. Instead he just tapped on one of the missed calls, begging to himself that Chan would be back stage and ready to answer the phone.</p><p>It was only a few seconds when he heard the click of the phone being picked up.</p><p>
  <em> “Hello? Felix?” </em>
</p><p>Chan’s voice was static filled, slightly muffled by the rainwater that was clogged in the speakers, but it was still Chan. Felix felt whatever strength he had drift away as the leader spoke with such concern, worry, and care. He wished Chan was here, he wished Chan could help him pull his legs free of the front seat, wished he could hold his hand because he was so fucking terrified and alone.</p><p>
  <em> “Felix what’s going on?! Are you okay?!” </em>
</p><p>Chan was shouting, but not with anger, it was terror. Felix realized he was crying again, but he couldn’t will himself to stop. He tried to speak, his voice coming out strained and stuffed up, “H-Hyung?”</p><p><em> “Yeah buddy, I’m here,” </em> Chan sounded a bit closer too, and if Felix closed his eyes he could maybe pretend Chan was actually there with him, <em> “What’s going on? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” </em></p><p>“I-” Felix let out another unexpected sob as a new batch of tears left a trail down his cheeks, “Nothing’s okay! It’s not okay...”</p><p><em> “Why not Lix?” </em> He sounded so <em> soft </em>, so warm, like home. It almost made the situation so much worse because Felix wished he was anywhere but here, trapped in a car in pitch darkness with rain water falling off the car and splashing into the open windows. He wanted to be with the members, at the performance. He shouldn’t have stayed, should have made the dance better so he didn’t have to stay back.</p><p>This was all his fault wasn’t it?</p><p><em> “Lixie you gotta calm down so we can help,” </em> Chan’s voice cracked out of the device again, panic edging out of his tone, <em> “Where are you and the manager?” </em></p><p>“I think the manager’s dead, Hyung,” Felix croaked out as fast as he could, ignoring the horrified gasps that came out of the cell phone speaker, “He’s not here and there’s too much blood and I can’t go find him and I don't know what to <em> do </em>!”</p><p><em> “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” </em> Chan was trying to sound reassuring, but his shaking voice betrayed his intention, <em> “We’re gonna find you okay? Do you know where you are? Are you trapped somewhere?” </em></p><p>“I-I’m stuck in the car,” He gave a grunt as he tried to ease the pain in his abdomen by pulling his body away from the seat belt digging into his stomach, “We pulled over to the s-side of the road but someone kept driving and ended up hitting us. When I woke up the manager was gone and there was s-so much b-blood… I-I think he went out the window but I can’t go check because my legs are stuck.”</p><p>There was a bustle of movement on the other side of the phone, various voices cutting through the signal but they were too far in the background of Felix to properly hear any of the words spoken in the chaos. The only person he could properly hear was Chan who had begun to relay the information to someone else, <em> “They got in a car accident and he’s stuck… No I don’t know where he is! Can’t we track him?!” </em></p><p>There was another voice speaking that Felix couldn’t make out, and he didn’t bother trying to because it hurt too damn much, but he forced himself to pay attention when Chan returned, <em> “Okay we’re trying to find where you are, but if you can give us any road signs it would help us a lot. Can you walk around and see if you see anything?” </em></p><p>“No, I can’t,” Felix shook his head, remembering the pain just trying to reach his phone caused.</p><p>
  <em> “I know it’s scary Lix but I know you can do it. We can get to you faster if we know where you are.” </em>
</p><p>“No Chan I really can’t!” Felix was babbling now as the tears resurfaced. His eyesight was trained on the barely visible limbs trapped by the front seat. He could see the outline of his legs disappearing under the metal, “M-my legs- they’re stuck under the chair. I already tried to move them and I-I couldn’t.”</p><p><em> “Oh shit,” </em> Chans voice faded out as he turned to talk to someone again, <em> “He’s injured and can’t move. Someone just track his phone for god sakes! Call the police! Do something!” </em></p><p>There was another clap of thunder, causing Felix to jump and drop his cellphone in the process. He scrambled to try and grab it before it was tossed too far away, but just as his fingers ghosted over the devise was when it flipped over. His middle finger swiped over the home screen, ending them call and failing to grab the phone before it wound up on the opposite side of the car.</p><p>Felix took a second to process what just happened. He stared at the darkness, blinking in utter disbelief and confusion. Did he serious just spasm over thunder, and ruin his chance at rescue all within a total of ten seconds?</p><p>The phone started going off again, the screen illuminating with Chan’s contact picture as the familiar ringtone resounded off the damaged vehicle. Felix could only stare painfully, because the phone was too far away now. He wouldn’t be talking to Chan again unless they managed to find him before something else did.</p><p>There were a few flashes of lightning, brightening up the entire crash sight violently. For a few seconds, Felix saw far more blood. He saw a slumped figure against a tree, he saw another car smashed against some rocks, and he felt cold despair in his bones.</p><p>He didn’t realize he was screaming.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yooo it's my Felix-centric agenda. Gotta love it!</p><p>My Socials:<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/Reltic_">Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://www.instagram.com/_reltic_/">Instagram</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Stay Awake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: I am not a medical professional so any medical talk should not be taken seriously. I tried my best lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Felix?” Chan pulled back the cellphone, ignoring the chaos that was happening around him and instead zeroing in on the call list.</span>
</p><p><b><em>Felix </em></b> <b><em>Outgoing Call</em></b> <b><em>   7:23</em></b></p><p>
  <span>The call had ended.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed call again, brought the device up to his ear, shook his leg anxiously as it rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And rang.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And rang.</span>
</p><p><em><span>“The number you have dialed</span></em> <em><span>cannot be reached. Please try again later.”</span></em></p><p>
  <span>“Chan,” Someone was speaking to him, trying to get his attention off the impending panic and terror clawing inside his chest. Whoever it was had wrapped their hand around Chan’s bicep, turned his body to face them and shook him until his focus was on them, “What’s going on? Keep us in the loop, please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Minho, staring at him with glossy eyes and red bitten lips. His stage makeup was basically unsaveable at this point, and his performance outfit was completely pulled apart. His shirt untucked, collar unbuttoned, accessories tossed to the wind and dangling in places it shouldn’t, but Chan didn’t care because he would personally knee anyone who tried to force them to act fine for the cameras and enjoy the show in the stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no way he was making </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>pretend like things were fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Channie-Hyung, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Minho squeezed his arms desperately, “You need to be okay right now. You need to stay </span>
  <em>
    <span>here</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don't know what I’ll do if you’re not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” Chan immediately replied, causing Minho to relax slightly, “I’m sorry I’m here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened? Why aren’t you talking to Felix anymore?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Chan gulped, his eyes darting from Minho, to Changbin staring them wide eyed from the other end of the couch, to Jisung’s streaming tears as he clutched onto an equally traumatized Jeongin, to Hyunjin’s frozen horror stricken face, and finally Seungmin’s fake confidence that was covering up his true emotions, “The call just ended and now… he won’t answer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he just… hang up?” Changbin blinked at the leader.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Chan shook his head, “It sounded like he got scared. And then the call ended. I don’t know if it was an accident or on purpose, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he didn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hang up on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-we need to f-find him,” Jisung sputtered around his tears, looking every bit torn up and terrified as they all felt, “H-he’s hurt! And scared! A-and the m-manager’s dead!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know that Sungie…” Chan was trying to stay optimistic, Felix did say he couldn’t move and therefore couldn’t go out to find the manager. But at the same time, he also said he probably crashed out through the window.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was the likelihood someone would survive that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We called authorities,” The younger of the two managers approached the huddle of boys, his eyes looking suspiciously red tinted, “We’re working on tracking Felix’s phone now since it’s still on. In the meantime the police are headed down the same route we drove from Busan to Seoul so hopefully they’ll run into them if we have any trouble tracking him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I talked to him before the crash, he said they pulled over about 2 hours into the drive,” Chan remembered feeling bad that Felix had managed to make it 2 thirds of the way there before the rain assaulted them, “Maybe that can help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The manager gave Chan a sympathetic smile, letting his palm rest on the leader's shoulder with a gentle pressure, “It will. I’m sorry this is happening. Jaeho should have listened to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He should have,” Chan agreed, harsh with an edge that cut through the obvious regret and guilt the second manager was feeling. Though Chan knew it wasn’t really him he was angry with. It was Jaeho, the manager that had refused to look for Felix when Chan knew something was wrong. It was the choreographer in Busan that just had to have a problem with the dance causing Felix to stay behind. It was the driver of the other car that decided to keep driving in these conditions and ended up ramming the company car. It was the damn rain that decided to spew over them </span>
  <em>
    <span>today</span>
  </em>
  <span> of all days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Jaeho pocketed his cellphone, joining the group and poorly attempting to pretend he hadn’t just been arguing with Chan minutes ago, “They have an ambulance and police cars headed where Felix was coming from. The company is working on tracking his phone and as soon as we have it they’ll go directly to those coordinates. It’s too late to try to integrate you guys back into the audience and avoid any drama so we’ll keep you all here until we get the go ahead to bring you home. If you do happen to win an award-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>kidding me?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t Chan that yelled, contrary to the fury the oldest was emitting earlier. Neither was it Minho, or Changbin, not even the shaky Jisung, terrified Jeongin, or near silent Seungmin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Hyunjin, red faced and furious, “Do you even </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Our brother is hurt! Scared! And you’re still worried about a goddamn award show?! What the fuck is wrong with you! Are you even human?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jinnie-” Seungmin grabbed Hyunjin’s clenched fist, and while Hyungjin didn’t pull away or shake him off, he still didn’t back down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is bullshit! I’m sorry for being disrespectful, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>I would never even dream of talking back to you. But… come on! This is life and death! Your own friend might be dead and you go back to talking about an award?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take a breath,” Seungmin leaned into Hyunjin who listened to Seungmin’s instruction, taking a deep breath and pulled the youngers hand up to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaeho was giving Hyunjin a blank look, hiding his emotions behind a mask and scrutinizing the rapper silently. Hyunjin almost wished he’d get mad, yell at him, tell him off for cursing at him when he shouldn’t ever raise his voice in public, at least show he felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>about this situation. But instead, he sighed, rubbed his fingers deep into his eye sockets as he leveled Hyunjin with an exhausted gaze, “I’m only letting you get away with that because you’re emotional right now. Watch what you say in the future, Hwang Hyunjin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You all,” Jaeho gave a sharp gesture to the entire band, “Need to get your act together. You aren’t being professional in the slightest. I know this isn’t an easy thing to deal with but you aren’t making this any easier for us by acting out. We’re all on the same side, and I won’t hesitate to bring this up with the CEO if things don’t shape up. So no more rude comments, no more yelling, and no more disrespect. Got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is your problem?” Minho scowled, turning his back to Chan to fully face the manager, “I can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. You’re acting like us disrespecting you is a bigger problem than the fact that Felix was in a literal </span>
  <em>
    <span>car crash </span>
  </em>
  <span>and we’re all miles away. Yeah, Hyunjin cursing you out was probably a bit much but you kind of deserve it for being so insensitive and </span>
  <em>
    <span>cruel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, you know what?” Jaeho snapped, clapping his hands together with a drawn out exhale and pursed lips, “You seven need to go home </span>
  <em>
    <span>now </span>
  </em>
  <span>and we’ll just keep you updated. You can figure yourselves out and fix this issue going on in all of your heads while we find Felix and get him home. We’ll have him in bed by midnight and you can come back to work tomorrow ready to apologize. Sound good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean ‘get him in bed by midnight’?” A growl ripped out of Chan’s chest, and he had to ignore the exaggerated annoying groan from the oldest manager when he spoke, “You’re acting like this isn’t even a big deal! Do you not get the situation we’re in?! Felix is in need of medical attention! He’s hurt! You make it sound like he’s completely fine!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because he is Chan!” The manager almost stomped all the way to the leader, but he stopped just next to Changbin on the couch armrest, “I’ve seen my fair share of dramatics in my life. This is going to turn out to be far less serious than you think it is. If Felix was really in as much danger as you say, he wouldn’t have hung up so quickly. He would have picked up much sooner instead of letting you fester in your fear, which is the only reason you’re as hyped up right now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, you still think he’s pranking us don’t you?” Changbin scoffed, sending a lethal glare to Jaeho who only gave a dry chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re despicable,” Chan spat at him, but he only shook his head in disappointment back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m just smart. Minjun,” Jaeho looked to the second manager, tossing a set of keys into his hands, “Have them change out of their stage outfits and drive them to the dorms.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minjun barely caught the key in time, looking every bit intimidated by not only the force of the throw but the agitation radiating off of his fellow coworker. He gave a steady glare to the rest of the band, before turning on his heels and strutting out of the door, leaving Minjun to deal with the aftermath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear to god, I will do whatever I can to get that asshole fired,” Changbin looked ready to literally rip something apart, and he was nearly achieving that by digging his nails into the leather arm rest he leaned against.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe he…” A heartbroken Jisung stared hopelessly at the floor, “How could he say that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is absolutely ridiculous,” Chan pushed himself off of the couch, snagging his phone off the cushion before turning to their second manager that had been rather quiet compared to Jaeho, “I don’t care what he said, we aren’t going to still in the dorms doing nothing while he tries to downplay this accident. He’s being a complete asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minjun stared owlishly at the agitated singer, letting his gaze flicker over the others for a moment before he secured the keys in his pocket, “I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll try to talk some sense into Jaeho, and I’ll get our supervisors involved if I need to. In the meantime, try to stay out of the camera's view.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan gave a sigh of relief, “Thank you for being understanding. I appreciate your help. I’m going to try calling Felix again if that’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>It had gone dark again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone was silent once the singular phone call from Chan wasn’t answered after Felix had accidentally shot the device a foot away from himself. There wasn’t a follow up call that would light up the darkness with Chan’s smiling face, there wasn’t a flurry of vibrations against the cold wet rooftop, there wasn’t a constant ring echoing off the walls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he only worth one phone call?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It hurt in a way Felix wasn’t used to. It wasn’t sharp like the physical pain. It didn’t throb and leave him hissing after a single movement. It was deep in his chest, panging against his rib cage. It was like a thread had been pulled and was unraveling every safety layer Felix had, like he was exposed and vulnerable and someone had just driven their fist through his heart. It made the tears he was shedding seem so much scarier, so much more painful. A piece of himself felt like it was shattering, like the entire world was ending, like he was never going to be saved from this torturous nightmare he was subjected to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would he really die out here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surrounded by destruction and sticky red blood?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When would his parents find out?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Would Stray Kids replace him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How would they break it to Stays?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was only 20, still at the beginning of his life. He had decades of dancing, singing, performing, loving, living… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was he really going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>die</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix was still stuck, still cold and covered in blood, still pinned by the front seat and still upside down. His head was starting to hurt from all of the blood rushing to his skull and his fingers were beginning to feel numb. His legs were mangled so much and the only thing he could do to try and ease the pain was to distract himself by focusing on the ache in his abdomen from the seatbelt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had no idea when help would get here, had no idea if help would even arrive, and with the heavy rain it may be too late by the time anyone arrived. He needed to at least try to free himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only issue is he could barely see a foot in front of him. The dark abyss his legs disappeared in was a mystery to him. He couldn’t go into it blind, he needed some kind of guide so he knew what he was doing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath, which ended up being a bit hard with his stuffed up nose. Taking his trembling hands, he slowly reached below his waist, which was technically above if you counted the fact that the car was upside down, and felt his fingers graze over the metal. He flinched back as he swiped over his wounds and tried to avoid it the second time around. He let his fingers feel out the space he was trapped in, sneaking his arms beside his legs to feel the bottom of the car and around the sides.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he had one of his legs free, he would be able to kick the chair until it was pushed far enough forwards to free himself. His arms were strong, but not strong enough to really push and bend metal at will. The most he may be able to do is try to open the gap enough sleep out, and even that seemed impossible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But did he have a choice? When would anyone end up finding him? And when they did how long would it take to get him out of the car? What if he bled out before anyone even tracked his location? Granted, he had no idea how much blood loss could warrant death nor did he know how much he was missing, but it was still a scary reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another burst of lightning graced him with a few moments of clarity. He purposely kept his head down, he had no intention of witnessing the possible corpse that was his manager for a second time. He was given a chance to see the way his legs were trapped, and he was at as much of a loss as before. It wasn’t enough time to really dissect the situation and figure out a plan, so the only option was to try his best with what he had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, with a regretful inhale, Felix’s hand descended into the dark hole. He grasped onto the metal rod digging into his skin. The sharp edges were already cutting into his palms as he pushed against the front seat. A poorly concealed sob tumbled out of his throat as the metal was shifted against his legs. His palms felt hot and sticky from what he could only assume was his blood, but he pressed on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was after twenty minutes of pushing with nothing more than a collage of cuts on his hands, and Felix was nowhere close to getting his legs free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his phone started ringing again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His tear stained face twisted to meet Chan’s face once more, and he wasn’t even embarrassed about the ugly crying and snot running down his face. The strange hurt from early returned but it was replaced with relief, relief that he wasn’t forgotten, that he still mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now if only he could reach the damn phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With reinvigorated strength and determination that was spurred on by his ringing cell phone, Felix pushed against the wounds on his hand. The metal pierced through his skin with a hiss, and the sting that accompanied the action almost made him release, but he kept pushing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, he might say it was one of those moments in life when your inhuman strength came from necessity. He might claim he hardly remembered the feeling of the metal dislodging from his shin or the blood curdling scream that rang through the trees. He might say he couldn’t even comprehend the feeling of blood dripping down his forearms as he tried to slip his legs from the compartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy forced his seatbelt to unbuckle with frantic movements, but wasn’t lucky enough to catch himself before he plummeted straight into the rooftop of the car. He smacked into the pile of shattered glass and it was by sheer luck that none of it got into his eye. The breath was knocked out of him momentarily as he tried to get his bearings. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and as he scanned the car again, landing on the bright cell phone screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to kick himself over to the device, but as soon as he put pressure on his foot, a sharp stab ran up his leg. He dropped onto his elbows as his leg gave out on him with a grunt, panting as he tried to push down the panic rising in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking wasn’t happening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix bit his lip as he tried to crawl over to the phone, but it ended up seeming more like he dragged himself than anything else. Just as he hands curled around the device, Chan was calling again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“-on’t know! I’ve never seen his passcode before- Oh shit, Felix?! Guys he answered!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a chorus of shouting, cheering, crying, and eventually the call crackled and cut out as the sound overloaded the connection. It was so sudden and surprising, but also heartwarming. It was familiar, it was family, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He hadn’t even been away from them for that long, he’s gone much longer in the past, but with the events that had transpired there was nothing he wanted more than to be in their presence again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lixie you need to breathe. You’re going to pass out if you don’t calm down.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ah yes, it would seem that in his happiness at having heard his members, he had begun crying again. It was becoming a theme, his salty tears mixing with hiccups, coughs, or loud sobbing as he simmered in his despair until either death or a police officer showed up to escort him to the next stop in life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried to force his emotions to contain themselves, he coughed as phlegm and snot clogged up his nose and throat. He whipped his face as best as he could on his damp shoulder, but he had a feeling he still looked far from presentable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyung,” Felix choked out after several failed attempts.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He could hear the smile in Chan’s voice, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you okay? What’s going on? Why weren’t you answering?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dropped the phone and couldn’t reach it,” Felix coughed again as he explained, “But I got myself out of the chair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s really good Felix. I’m proud of you. We’re trying to track your location right now through your phone account with JYPE, but we’ve been having trouble. Can you tell us what your passcode is so it’ll give us access?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix agreed immediately and had Chan relay the information moments later.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay the police have been on their way but now they have a precise location so hopefully they’ll be able to find you sooner.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Felix laid his head against his arm. His voice was low and quiet, and it was taking every inch of his willpower to keep his mind from being lulled into unconsciousness. His body felt heavy and weak as a dull throb had begun radiation through his limbs. There wasn’t any part of him that didn’t hurt, that didn’t mourn the day that had turned into disaster, that didn’t wish he had never stayed behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You still there Felix?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Felix blinked open his eyes. When had he closed them?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You gotta stay awake buddy. Please stay awake for me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Yes, stay awake, “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a clever idea to keep his mind working and alert, and if Felix wasn’t on the edge of consciousness he might’ve caught on to Chan’s scheme. The line had gone relatively quiet on Chan’s end, and he could only assume it was because everyone had either left the room or was quietly surrounding the phone to listen to the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The second was more likely,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s e’ryone?” His words came out slightly slurred, and he had to blink his eyes again to get the blurry vision to subside.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re all here,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>There was a bit of shuffling, and Chan’s voice was replaced with Minho’s, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey Trouble Maker. We miss you over here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Miss’ya too hyung,” Felix mumbled. The rain was calming down again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not as fun without you here,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Changbin sounded funny, like he was talking through his teeth. Changbin tended to get a bit serious when he felt unsure, but Felix couldn’t stop his mind from spiralling. Was he upset? Was he mad about the performance? Did it go okay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Performance?” Felix tried to say more than one word, but the strength just wasn’t there.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course you’d worry about the performance,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He could hear Jisung, but he sounded even worse than Changbin. Instead of sounding mad, he sounded the exact opposite. He could almost hear the tears that had fallen from Jisungs eyes, especially when the loud sniffle came through the speaker, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It went well. Stay’s really missed you. Everyone sang for you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“R’lly?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Felix,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chan again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Tell us what’s on your mind. We haven’t heard from you all night and we all miss you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>What was on his mind? He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Where had this come from? He was just scrambling to figure out where he was, was just fighting against the front seat to free his trapped legs, was just crying over blood and shattered glass as he found out his manager most likely didn’t make it through the crash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, he had almost forgotten about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The manager,” His voice was almost a whisper, but he was sure Chan could hear him, “I think he’s dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chan hesitated, and when he spoke again he was struggling to keep his voice steady, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You told us that ‘Lix.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, he did?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t focus on that though</span>
  </em>
  <span>, </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay? How was Busan? Did the choreography get fixed?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“D’ncin’s h’rd,” Felix tried to open his mouth as he spoke, but it passed through before he got his jaw working.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, I know Buddy. Hey why don’t you tell us about that crazy dream you had last week? I don’t think Jeongin got to hear it. You know, the one with the whales?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he remembered that dream. It was one of the ones that changed so frequently that the story line barely matched from start to finish. Things appeared and disappeared within an instance that the dream ended up filling the void with anything that didn’t make sense, like two talking whales that forcibly made him join their whale family after he lost his cat at the mall and needed to replace it before Minho found out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was such a long dream, such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>detailed </span>
  </em>
  <span>dream and Felix could barely open his eyes. Chan wouldn’t blame him for choosing to save that story, right? He couldn’t stand trying to explain so much detail when he couldn’t lift his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Felix?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, he’ll tell them later.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Felix, come on. Stay with me please!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan’s voice was covered in a fog as Felix began to let sleep cloud over him. His eyes were closed, the rain water was soaking into his jeans and mixing with the red blood. The car was echoing back the voices of his members shouting, but he couldn’t make out the words. His hair stuck to his forehead and curled behind his neck, the throbbing was beginning to fade as the darkness became something a little less scary and little more comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then a bright light shined directly onto his closed eyelids. There were hands all over his body, and heavy footsteps next to his ear. His eye lids were forced open and he was met face to face with an EMT. She tried to say something to Felix, but he couldn’t hear her. He couldn’t feel how cold the puddle he was lying in was, couldn’t feel the ache in his abdomen, couldn’t feel when they pulled him from the wreckage and loaded him on a stretcher. He couldn’t hear them tell Chan and the others that Felix was getting help, that he had opened his eyes when the EMT showed up and was going to be heading to the hospital to get treated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t process what was happening, one moment he was engulfed in darkness and then he was surrounded by blinding lights. He was bumping up and down in the back of an ambulance as someone tried to tend to his mangled legs. He flinched as the pain began to return, tried to back away from the assaulting hands but was shushed by the EMT he met earlier. She was speaking again, but this time he could make out her words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” She was smiling, soft and sweet, “We’re going to give you some pain killers and work on wrapping your wounds before we get to the hospital.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix really had no choice in the matter, and his ability to deny them, to ask them to please not touch him because it hurt too much was gone. So he slumped against the bed he was strapped in and accepted his fate with a mopey pout until he began slipping into the darkness again.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Chan had to fight tooth and nail to get access into the hospital waiting room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaeho had been adamantly against it, and he was rather vocal about his objection. Once he realized Minjun hadn’t done as he said and brought the band back to the dorms, the older manager was livid. Another argument broke out and many insults that probably never should have never come out of Seungmins mouth were spoken. In the end, the higher supervisors were called and Jaeho was forcibly calmed and told to leave the boys alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re emotional, scarred, and worried. You can’t blame them for lashing out,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Jaeho had scowled at the answer, and he was very pushy in trying to go against his higher ups declaration. He tried to make any of the drivers take them home in groups, tried to confiscate their phones in an attempt at a power play, and even threaten them with punishments of no tv or take out privileges.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re not kids,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chan had stood his ground, leveling the manager with a steady glare, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You can make us sleep in cardboard boxes and make us eat salad at every meal, we won’t care. But you can’t make us abandon Felix while you decide what’s best for him.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, Chan was the only one awarded permission to wait at the hospital, under the guard from Minjun and with his cell phone locked away in the dorm rooms. It was a minor trade off so Jaeho would feel like he won, and Chan didn’t really care much about pride if it meant he would get to see Felix with his own eyes. So now he was waiting, just like he had for the past hour and half after Felix stopped responding during their phone call and a group of EMT’s showed up to the crash site.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so much worse than they had thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan didn’t know the details and he didn’t know when he would get them, but from what Minjun had relayed to him the crash was awful. The manager that was driving didn’t make it. Felix was barely spared from death by a near inch, and it was by a shear miracle that he not only survived but was able to call them and alert them of his situation before anything worse had happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not by the assistance of their dick of a manager Jaeho, but by Chan’s determination to prove to him that something was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he first had the gut feeling. That was the only reason Felix had gotten help as soon as he did. Because if it had been up to Jaeho, Felix may have gone on a trip with death instead of a trip to the hospital.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The manager had been so sure that Felix was just pranking them, just being a silly teenager with no concept of moral ground. He had assumed Felix and the manager were still parked along the street waiting to drive and the young rapper had gotten bored of waiting. And even when Felix did call them and tell them the problem, Jaeho had ignored it. He had said they were over reacting and overhyping the crash. He claimed Felix was exaggerating, that it probably wasn’t as bad as he said it was because, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I just heard from the manager who drove him and he said everything is fine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>What a load of bullshit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I talked to our supervisor,” Minjun was seated next to Chan, leaning back on the chair while Chan leaned forward with his hands clasped together and elbows digging into his knees, “I told him about Jaeho’s behavior and they want to have an immediate safety meeting with the CEO tomorrow. They may have already sent you an email but you will probably be required to attend and give your statement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The leader had his eyes fixated on the speckled tile, unfocused and glossy, but he nodded his head to show he was following along, “I’ll be there. I want him terminated immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand how you feel,” Minjun rubbed his fingers along the armrests of the chairs as another doctor walked passed the doorway without entering, “I hope you don’t let his words dig too deep in your mind though. Everything he said was wrong. He should have listened to you in the first place and I should have tried to make him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan didn’t have a chance to respond, because the doctor that passed them was walking into the private waiting room. With a clipboard in hand and a polite smile plastered on her face, “Hello, are you waiting on Lee Felix?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Chan instantly jumped to his feet, Minjun following shortly after, “Is he okay? Can we see him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Physically, he’s recovering,” She eased her smile just slightly, “Aside from various light abrasions as expected of crash victims, he received a rather hard blow to the skull on impact and the seatbelt severely bruised his ribcage. He seems to be suffering from a concussion but he hasn’t been awake much for us to examine it aside from the few moments of clarity in the ambulance.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As for his legs,” The doctor sighed, pushing papers up as he read through cursive scribbles Chan couldn’t even attempt to read, “They have received the most damage. The metal rods from the front seat had pinned him to the back seat. He will most likely have dark bruising and scarring that won’t disappear for some time. This may be disturbing for both Mr. Lee and his housemates and it’s important to remember that it’s all a part of the healing process.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve decided to confine him to a wheelchair, “The doctor explained as he lowered his clipboard, “It may be painful to walk for the time being, and until the healing process has completed enough to be satisfactory for us to allow crutches, there shouldn’t be any weight applied to his legs. He’ll need assistance for basic needs in everyday life, even bathing and a trip to the toilet will be dependent on whoever is with him. He needs support and love, he’s going to be irritable, embarrassed, and fussy for the foreseeable future. As long as you’re patient and aware of these changes, I think he can make a full recovery and return to his usual self.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can do that,” Chan agreed instantly, determination taking over any other emotion he may be feeling, “I don’t care if he turns into Satan himself, we won’t let him down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll take care of him,” Minjun agreed, sending a kind smile to Chan, “Can we see him?”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Chan had been escorted to Felix’s private room soon after speaking to the doctor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix was lying in bed, bandages covering nearly every inch of skin. His blonde hair was still slightly stained with blood and the minor cuts on his face couldn’t all be covered without mummifying him. He was sleeping, looking as peaceful as he did in the dorms when he would fall asleep on the living room couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan sat besides him, reaching out to grab one of Felix's hands but pulled back upon noticing the white bandage ribboned around his palms. He didn’t want to agitate his injuries any further, so he settled for resting his hand on the top of Felix’s forearm. He closed his eyes, listening to the beeping tone of the heart monitor that was reminding him Felix was alive and well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or, as well as he could be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was still too much to deal with, too much to fight for. Chan had a meeting with their senior supervisors to discuss the situation from today, he had to contact the rest of the group and let them know what restrictions needed to be put in place, he had to help Felix through what is sure to be a difficult winding road of recovery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But at the very least, he’s alive. And Chan would go through any of those obstacles if it meant one of his best friends gets to live to see tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It suddenly hit, harder than anything else, that Felix could have not survived this. He could have been hearing about how Felix had passed along with their manager rather than visiting him in a hospital bed. He could have been carrying the guilt that any leader would bear, could have been having tearful conversations with the band over what they would do going forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could have been burying his friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh ‘Lix,” Chan sighed as he let his head droop down to his chest, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since this whole ordeal began, Chan cried. He cried for the lost innocence and the suffering Felix endured. He cried for the future hurt and grief he would experience. He cried for the struggling and the pain he would become accustomed to. He cried for the alternate reality that was so close to existing, where Felix didn’t come home with them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he also cried of relief. He cried because Felix was here and they were going to do everything they could to help him through this. They were a family, a team, and brotherhood. They didn’t give up, or take the easy road, or leave someone behind. They would get through this, and Chan knew it.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone that liked this story and came to find me on twitter! I'm really happy everyone had been enjoying it!!! Hopefully this chapter is up to par with the last one! I'm not sure if I'll end it at 3 chapters or actually go up to 4 though, that might depend on how much I write and how much detail I go into next :D</p><p>My Socials:<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/Reltic_">Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://www.instagram.com/_reltic_/">Instagram</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It's Okay To Not Be Okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> “The new manager is scheduled to start next week,” </em> Minjun’s voice cracked out of the cell phone in Chan’s hand as his eyes scanned over the audio waves in his recording program, <em> “You have the opportunity to meet him earlier than that if you’d like, but I’ve already met him myself and I think he’s a great improvement.” </em></p><p>It had only been two weeks since the accident, and not only was Jaeho terminated within 24 hours of Felix’s hospitalization, but the company had already been looking at replacements. It was a pleasant experience on Chan’s part, beginning with Jaeho looking down on him with eflated pride and ego and ending with the manager's title stripped from his name and a walk of shame. Jaeho had bashed Chan and the other members, insisting he was doing everything he needed to keep the media from grabbing hold of the story and protecting their image. But in reality he was only protecting his work load and in the process put Felix’s life in danger. In the end, the higher management sided with Chan and Minjun, firing Jaeho immediately.</p><p>But that didn’t mean the meeting had been entirely peaceful.</p><p>The death of their third manager was devastating. Hyunwoo was pronounced dead on the site of the crash, and with a heavy heart the higher ups had to make the call to his family. The meeting included how the company planned to deliver the news to fans and what was in store for Stray Kids after such a tragedy. A funeral was in place for the deceased, and Felix was required to participate in mandatory therapy sessions for at least 6 months or until the therapist discharges him on their own. Until then, Felix would remain on hiatus.</p><p>The rest of the group were given the option to attend sessions of their own if they needed them, and while none of them jumped onto the opportunity Chan was on the verge of sending Hyunjin and Jisung regardless of how fine they say they are. There had been too many outbursts to be considered normal ever since the accident, and while it was understandable it was still unhealthy.</p><p>The rest of the band would take a month off of promotion pending a second month if things aren’t going as smoothly as expected, and then would return to their regular schedule. Though Chan never was good at taking breaks, which is why he found himself at the company in his recording studio, working on songs that wouldn’t come out for months.</p><p>“I’ll take your word for it but I think it’d still be polite to meet him,” Chan responded as he leaned back into his chair, “Maybe we can schedule a lunch date?”</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah that would be a good idea, see if any of the other members want to go as well and we can have a company lunch.” </em>
</p><p>“Speaking of, I should probably head back to the dorms,” Chan stood from his seat to stretch, “Thank you for calling me and letting me know. I’ll keep you updated.”</p><p>Minjun gave a verbal acknowledgement before the two hung up. Chan pocketed his cellphone and saved his work before packing up his laptop. As he exited the building, various staff members waved him goodbye which he reciprocated with a smile. The walk home wasn’t very long as the company and dorms were located rather close, but he still made sure to walk quickly so he would arrive at the dorm earlier than anticipated.</p><p>It hadn’t been a very easy two weeks.</p><p>Felix had woken up disoriented, confused, and terrified, and Chan was there to witness it. His heart rate had jumped on the monitor and his eyes darted all over the room until it finally landed on Chan with watery eyes. It only took Chan another three seconds to drop his shock and wrap the younger boy in his arms.</p><p>The first few days in the hospital were standard procedures, checking on Felix’s injuries and explaining to him the timeline of his recovery. At first he had been fine with all the limitations he would have to incorporate into his life until he was fully healed, even agreeing to the use of a wheelchair as long as it meant he was alive. He was too grateful to be living to care about anything else.</p><p>Felix’s parents been video called as soon as Felix was awake enough to speak to them, and even though their faces made him happy, he yearned to really see them. He wanted to hug his mom, talk face to face with his dad, and joke with his sisters. He didn’t want to do it all through a screen. However, his parents had given him strength to get better as soon as possible.</p><p>But as time wore on, he became a little less fond of the restrictions. He couldn’t do anything on his own, couldn't dance for a prolonged amount of time, and had been forbidden from working until a therapist said so. It was frustrating to the Australian, and even Chan’s gentle reassurances didn’t do much to ease his mind. He was forced to depend on his members for everything, and felt like shit for it.</p><p>Which is what had led to what Chan dubbed The Angry Stage.</p><p>Felix may not be a menace to deal with, the kid was too nice to be cruel enough to hurt them, but he was definitely more agitated than the members had ever had to experience. He had moments of frustration that ended with him glaring at the wall or bouts of depression that they left him refusing to eat. He still had his good days where he was excited for a new show or looked at things a little more optimistically, but they were scattered between the storm of emotions.</p><p>Chan didn’t blame him for being fussy, after all the doctor had warned him earlier on that it would happen, but he wished he could help more. Work was their life, it was what Chan loved to do. He couldn’t imagine being forced to relax for the foreseeable future until someone else told him it was okay again. He would go mad with boredom three days in.</p><p>Minho and Changbin had taken everything in stride, trying their best to help Felix through the situation and taking his attitude with a grain of salt. They didn’t let his bad mood dictate what they did to help him, but they also didn’t force anything on him. They spoke to him like an equal, being sure to remind him he’s still their friend and still the same Felix that they loved and cared for. They constantly pushed him to be himself, to not let his injury take away his personality, but they didn’t get upset when he sometimes let the sadness and anger overwhelm him. They were patient.</p><p>Seungmin and Jeongin were less nurturing than Changbin and Minho, but they were equally as encouraging. They were often trying their best to cheer up the sad sack of a human with video games, movies, cuddles, or food. They told funny stories, joked around, and brought a smile to Felix’s face. They were mood lifters, and even if they didn’t know how to prepare a soup without burning down the dorm didn’t mean they couldn’t cheer him up in other ways.</p><p>It was Hyunjin and Jisung that were a bit more of a handful. Hyunjin had been furious far longer than everyone else had, and he hadn’t let go of his anger even two weeks later. He tried his best to leave it behind, Chan knows he has, but he couldn’t drop the betrayal he felt at Jaeho’s actions. It affected his general mood more often than he realized, and in a way it also brought down Felix without any of them realizing until it was too late. Jisung was the exact opposite, his happiness being too exaggerated for anyone to believe. He had a history of shaky mental health, and everyone knew this was just a cover up to hide his real emotions, but it was painfully obvious to everyone that his mask was fake.</p><p>Chan had been trying to guide them into a healthy mindset, which is why he had planned on sitting them down to ask them to take advantage of the therapist the company was providing them.</p><p>He had arrived at the dorms in under ten minutes, and when he let himself in with his keys he wasn't surprised to hear the TV playing. He pushed his shoes into the closet after he closed the door and made his way into the main living room where Jisung and Hyunjin were quietly watching a cartoon by themselves. The two were unnaturally silent, and when Chan said his greeting, the two gave him mumbled “hellos” without much enthusiasm.</p><p>So, it was one of those days.</p><p>He immediately went to seek out either Minho or Changbin, which wasn’t hard since the first place he checked was the kitchen. Minho was hovering over the stove, stirring meat and vegetables in a frying pan with Seungmin and Jeongin staring at the meal from over his shoulder. Chan made his presence known once he passed through the door. Minho’s head turned to Chan as he processed the older’s return home and passed the spoon to Seungmin with a careful warning, “Do <em> not </em> touch the gas, just stir it so it doesn’t burn.”</p><p>Seungmin nodded in understanding while Minho strided up to Chan and pulled him into one of the empty bedrooms. Once the door closed, Chan noticed the exhaustion riddling Minho’s features. His whole existence screamed stress, and Chan hadn’t even been gone for that long.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Chan started with, and Minho blew a heavy sigh in response as he ran his finger through his unwashed hair.</p><p>“It’s a bad day for ‘Lix,” Minho looked pained as he spoke, and Chan would sympathize. It was hard watching your friend go through something like this, “Changbin has been trying to get him to take a shower before dinner but he keeps refusing. And then that spurred on Hyunjin’s frustration with the situation and Felix took it as Hyunjin being mad at him instead of being mad at the manager. And then it started an argument between Jisung and Hyunjin which Seungmin tried to break up which only resulted in more fighting.”</p><p>“Jeongin came to get me before things got too bad and I forced Jisung and Hyunjin to relax in the living room for a bit,” Minho let his gaze linger on the closed bedroom door where he knew the two boys were depressingly watching a tv show that neither them really had any interest in watching, “I made Seungmin and Jeongin stay with me until they calm down and Changbin is trying to help Felix while I finish cooking but…”</p><p>“Do you want me to try talking to Felix?” The moment Chan offered, he saw the relief hit Minho like a brick.</p><p>“I know you just got home but I feel like Changbin had been trying to calm him down for like an hour now,” Minho explained, “I’ll try talking to Hyunjin and Jisung before dinner since they’ve calmed down a bit.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Chan placed a palm on Minho’s shoulder and squeezed, “I wanted to talk to them about something anyways. After I talk to Felix I’ll take care of them, okay?”</p><p>Minho slumped into himself, closing his eyes as he repeated Chan’s words in his head, “Thank you Channie-hyung.”</p><p>“Hey no need to thank me,” Chan pulled the younger into a hug which Minho quickly returned, “Thank you for doing so much, you and Changbin. I appreciate you guys so much and I know the rest do too.”</p><p>Minho gripped Chan a bit harder before letting go, and when his eyes were tinged a bit red neither of them mentioned it.</p><p>“Alright, I’m going to stop Minnie and Innie from burning down the kitchen,” Minho sniffled for a second, rubbed down his face with his palm before exiting the room and heading back to the destructive duo he had left alone.</p><p>Chan chose to make his way to Felix’s room where he was sure he would find Changbin. He casted a glance to the two figures sinking into the couch on his way there, hopefully the conversation with them wouldn’t be too hard. When the leader approached the closed bedroom door, he knocked as he entered. Felix was in bed, his arms crossed over his chest as he petulantly shot a deadly glare to the end of his bed. Changbin was sitting on the edge of the mattress, twisted to face Felix but his head turned to meet Chan as he entered.</p><p>“Hey Channie-Hyung,” Changbin gave a soft greeting, but it was obvious in his defeated posture that he was struggling with his task at the moment.</p><p>“Hey Binnie. Hey ‘Lix,” He made sure to keep his tone soft and bright, he didn’t need to make anything worse by bringing a negative aura into the room, “I think Minho might need some help in the kitchen if you wanna help him, I can get Felix ready.”</p><p>Changbin raised his eyebrows at Chan while Felix kept his gaze fixated on his feet. The older Australian tilted his head at Changbin, gesturing him towards the door with a smile. The rapper took a moment to process what was happening before it dawned on him. He gave a silent “ah” as he nodded along to Chan’s request, “Yeah sure, I’ll see you guys out there.”</p><p>Chan remained standing in the middle of the room until Changbin made it out, waiting for the familiar click resounding in the small bedroom to move closer to the irate boy laying in bed. Felix had yet to speak, and even as Chan took Changbin’s spot on the bed, Felix was dedicated to keeping his lips pursed and his eyebrows sharp without muttering a word.</p><p>“Hey Lixie,” Even if Felix hadn’t spoken yet, Chan was sure he would eventually. He wouldn’t be leaving his side until then, “I heard it’s been a rough day.”</p><p>The younger Australian stubbornly kept his eyes straight, refusing to acknowledge Chan as he stewed in his own frustration. It was predictable behavior, and Chan would have been surprised if Felix didn’t get like this sometimes, but it still saddened him to see his usually bubbly friend so upset, “Wanna tell me what you're thinking in that head of yours?”</p><p>He hadn’t yet initiated physical contact, particularly because he didn’t want to accidentally hurt him by bumping into his healing injuries and partially because he wasn’t sure if it would be received well. If Felix was upset, his usual form of reassurance was a hug. The younger boy had always been fond of cuddling the members and it almost never failed to help him sort through his feelings and feel better. But this Felix is unpredictable. He’s hurt, and scared, and the medication he’s on makes him drowsy and irritable, anything could set him off so Chan found it better to do things at his pace. </p><p>“I don’t need any help,” Felix muttered with a sharpness in his tone, and that was when Chan knew where the conversation was going to be heading.</p><p>“Don’t need help with what?”</p><p>“Getting ready,” Felix blinked slowly, still not looking at Chan, “I can do it by myself.”</p><p>“I know you can,” Chan nodded in understanding, he kept his voice calm and kind, but the authority he had to exude as a leader in certain situations began leaking through, “But you also need some help right now, and that’s okay. I know you <em> can </em> do it alone, but you <em> shouldn’t </em>.”</p><p>“But I don’t want it!” Felix didn’t necessarily yell, but his low voice still rose with agitation as he tapped his finger tips against his biceps, “It’s stupid that I need help with everything! I wanna take a shower without someone having to watch me from behind the curtain!”</p><p>“I know it’s frustrating, Felix,” Chan really wished things weren’t like this. He wished Felix had come home without a scratch. He wished Felix wasn’t feeling so distraught and helpless. He wished the bruises and scarring would have faded sooner. He wished the damn accident hadn’t happened to begin with... But it did. And now they needed to work on progressing into the future instead of wishing to change the past.</p><p>“I just wish none of this happened,” The younger mumbled, and Chan could almost swear he saw the anger that had lit inside him diminish just slightly, “I don’t wanna rely on you guys to do everything.”</p><p>“But we want to help you buddy,” Felix swallowed a lump around his throat as Chan scooted just a little closer, “We don’t like seeing you hurt and suffering if we can help it, and if that means you have a little extra attention until your all better then we’re more than willing to supply it. But you pushing us away is only going to make things worse, you know.”</p><p>“I’m not pushing you away,” he bit his lip in thought, ignoring the way his skin stung as his teeth sunk into the flesh.</p><p>“Then what else would you use to describe this situation?” It was a trick question, obviously, but it was the one that would hopefully turn the problem around, “I’m pretty sure you denying our help is pushing us away.”</p><p>“I don’t think Hyunjin was trying to help.”</p><p>A huff was pushed through Felix’s nose as he tightened his arms around his torso. He wasn’t sure if the action was hurting the younger since his bruised ribs were still a problem, but even if it didn’t seem to bother him Chan didn’t feel comfortable with the possibility. So he reached out a hand with his palm up in hope Felix would accept it, “I don’t think Hyunjin meant to hurt you. He was upset <em> for </em> you. Not <em> at </em> you. But he should have handled his emotions a bit better, just like you’re learning to as well.”</p><p>Everyone was aware of Felix’s emotional state being a bit wacky, including the Australian mentioned. It’s not that they walked on eggshells around him to prevent any arguments, but they tried not to let his feelings affect theirs. They had to be patient, understanding, and willing to help him to understand how to manage it. But Hyunjin had a similar issue, and Chan was hoping that appealing to Felix that way may help him forgive the other a bit easier.</p><p>“I get that,” Felix groaned, but still took Chan’s hand in his own, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“It’s alright,” He squeezed Felix’s hand in his own, prompting the other to finally turn his head in his direction, “You know no one holds it against you, right? We all just wanna see you get better.”</p><p>“I know,” the younger sighed, letting his gaze drop to their intertwined hands, “I just hate being a burden.”</p><p>“Hey,” Chan called softly as he pulled Felix’s attention back to him. He looked his younger bandmate in the eyes, hoping he could feel the sincerity he was trying to portray, “You are <em> never </em>a burden. I promise you that. You’re our friend, our brother, you’re family. You could never burden us.”</p><p>Felix didn’t respond verbally but gave a shallow nod in understanding, and that was enough for Chan, “So, wanna take a shower now so we can all eat together? I have some good news for everyone.”</p><p>Felix perked up at the mention of good news, but still shrunk back down as he realized what that meant, “I don’t wanna shower though,” the whine was almost childlike and now that it was free of anger Chan chuckled at him, “You guys just stare at me through the curtain waiting for me to finish and it’s kinda creepy. I know you’re scared something will happen but I feel like I’m in a horror movie with everyone watching me.”</p><p>Well that was a pretty valid reason to not like showering, did they all really watch him like a hawk? He didn’t really blame him if that was the case, “Okay how about this. I’ll help you get in and out of the shower like normal, and then I’ll sit outside the door with a game or watch youtube until you’re done. You just need to promise to call for us if something goes wrong.”</p><p>“That sounds so much better.”</p><hr/><p>When Chan had finished helping Felix get ready, he noticed the rest of the dorm had significantly calmed down. Minho had given him a relieved smile as he saw him pull the younger boy into the bathroom and Changbin had nearly fallen to ground when he saw Chan sitting outside the bathroom with the shower running, <em> “Thank god you came home. I don’t think I would have been able to help until you did.” </em></p><p>Though Jisung and Hyunjin were still a little moody, their overall attitude seemed to rise after seeing Felix out of his room. Seungmin and Jeongin were still keeping their distance from the fighting duo which Chan was slightly concerned about, but after seeing that the two hadn’t seemed upset about anything he figured it was more for Hyunjin and Jisung benefit than their own that they gave them space. After speaking to HyunSung, he would need to make sure communication between everyone was back to normal and that no one had any lingering animosity.</p><p>Dinner was served to everyone as soon as Felix was seated at the table. He held no traces of the earlier stubborn irritation and that eased the mind of everyone at the table. They were able to eat in peace without much issue, Changbin indulging Chan and Minho in a conversation about a new movie coming out and Seungmin and Jeongin telling Felix about a new game they wanted to play with him.</p><p>The only quiet two were Hyunjin and Jisung which Chan hoped he could fix after dinner.</p><p>“So,” The leader clapped his hands together as everyone pushed aside their empty bowls, “I wanted to let everyone know Minjun gave me a call today. They found us a new manager.”</p><p>He knew Jaeho had been a touchy subject around the band, and he wasn’t surprised in the slightest to see at least half of them tense up. Hyunjin’s fury reignited under a poorly hidden veil, Jisung was trying to overcompensate for the horrid atmosphere with a peppy chirp and excessive clapping, and Felix eyed Chan hesitantly. Felix had been filled in on what had gone down on their end after he awoke in the hospital, including tearfully informing him of Hyunwoo’s death, the manager driving him. After hearing how terrible Jaeho had handled the problem, even going as far as to try to pin Felix as a self centered fibber willing to forge a car accident for attention, the boy was rightfully offended.</p><p>“Is he… good?” Felix was looking at him with wide eyes full of hope, Seungmin and Jeongin with curiosity, and Minho and Changbin with concern.</p><p>“Well, Minjun seems to think so,” They seemed to contemplate that information for a moment, Minjun had been nothing but kind to them since even before the accident. His word held a lot of weight in their minds, but that didn’t mean it pulled the weight of fear completely off their hearts, “And we have the opportunity to meet with him before the first day.”</p><p>“All of us?” Minho questioned as he twirled his chopsticks between his thin fingers.</p><p>“If you all want to.”</p><p>“I do,” Changbin agreed immediately, his expression determined even as Chan nodded his head in acceptance.</p><p>“I do as well. I know we can’t really do much if we don’t like him but…” Minho trailed off, but Chan could already tell what was going on his head.</p><p>“It’ll make you feel better. I get it,” Chan smiled at Minho, then letting it travel to the rest, “We can all go if you want.”</p><p>It didn’t take much longer for everyone to jump on board. Even Hyunjin was more than excited to meet the new manager, even if his trust was still closed off to the new party for the time being. After the conversation, it was Jeongin who offered to clean up which was received positively from the rest.</p><p>“Hyunjin, Jisung,” Chan called out to the two before they made it farther than the dining room. Both turned to face him and he could see they already knew what was happening before Chan had to say it, “Can we talk a bit?”</p><p>Everyone else pretended to not notice the group of three as they headed back into another empty bedroom, which Chan appreciated. The last thing he needed was someone making a big deal out of a simple conversation that made either of the boys self conscious and defensive. It would make this so much harder for Chan to deal with, but luckily he only had to handle two muted versions of the boys that had been previously so animated.</p><p>Chan closed the door and clicked the lock just in case as the other two made themselves comfortable on the bed,” So,” Chan turned in their direction, taking in Hyunjin’s slumped form and Jisung’s twitchy fingers, “I heard it’s been a rough day, and not just for Felix.”</p><p>Neither of the boys said a word, both choosing to avoid eye contact as Chan sat down on the bed opposite of them, “You know, it’s okay to have bad days. I get them too.”</p><p>“It wasn’t really a bad day for me though,” Jisung picked at his shirt, “I mean I kind of fought with Hyunjin but that’s it.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to fight either,” Hyunjin added with a defeated tone, “I just said something wrong and everything went downhill.”</p><p>“It was a misunderstanding,” Chan clarified, and the other two agreed quickly, “Well I can see where you’re coming from. But I think this is a bigger issue than you may realize.”</p><p>“What?” Jisung’s shock was plastered over his face as he shot his gaze straight to the leader, “Are we doing something?”</p><p>“It’s not that bad, don’t worry Sungie,” Chan waved off his worry quickly, but the boy had yet to relax, “I just think you two have been having some internal struggles ever since the accident that’s been leading to these issues.”</p><p>“What are you saying?” Hyunjin eyed him in confusion.</p><p>“I’m saying, maybe you two would benefit from therapy,” As soon as Chan said the words, both instantly tried to protest. Chan held a hand up to silence them, “Before you write it off completely, hear me out.”</p><p>When it looked like neither of the boys would interrupt, Chan began, “I feel like you have a lot of pent up emotion, fears, and doubts that need to be worked through. We’ve noticed a change in you guys in the last two weeks and we want to help.”</p><p>“And you think therapy is the answer?” Hyunjin looked a little less defensive, but still wary of the idea.</p><p>“Well, what do you have against it?” Chan sat back in a way that he tried to make look unthreatening.</p><p>He could tell by their body language that they were closed off, nervous, and that was something he wanted to tackle as soon as possible.</p><p>These last two weeks have been <em> hard </em> . It isn’t easy to deal with a fatal car accident, a near death experience, and a crippling injury all within a day. A manager is dead, Felix’s body is wounded and his mind isn’t much better, the morale of the group was taking hit after hit with each mood swing, and the entirety of JYP is very much <em> not </em> wheelchair accessible which had been a pain in the ass for Chan to worry about when Felix does eventually start coming back to the company.</p><p>Everyone is trying their best, and some of them are thriving in the pressure. Some have taken everything as a challenge, some are taking things a day at a time, and some are struggling to keep up as yesterday's baggage mixes with todays. Chan used to be the culprit of this, constantly carrying the weight of the failure and fear on his back as he tried to pick up more without learning to let go of the past. It wasn’t until his group members stepped up to help him that he realized how unhealthy it was, which is why he wants to put a stop to it’s repeating footsteps before Hyunjin and Jisung fall into the hole he just learned to climb out of.</p><p>“I just don’t need it,” Jisung shrugged but his fidgeting fingers told Chan he wasn’t feeling as nonchalant as he was acting, “I wasn’t the one in the accident, Felix was. Why would I need therapy?”</p><p>“Sungie,” Chan called softly as Jisung slowly raised his wide eyes to meet the leaders, “Do you really think that you don’t deserve therapy just because you weren’t in the accident?”</p><p>“I mean, why would I?” the young rapper titled his head as genuine confusion wrapped around his brain.</p><p>“Because you’re still human,” Chan insisted. He was a little surprised to hear his dongsaengs felt like this, like they were undeserving of treatment when they were going through something traumatic. He always tried to preach equality to the band, to remind them that there wasn’t a single one of them that didn’t deserve to be there. He wanted Stray Kids to be a close knit group, wanted everyone to lean on each other when needed. </p><p>What he didn’t want was <em> this </em>. For someone to isolate themselves and their emotions for the sake of the others.</p><p>“But what about Innie? Or Seungmin?” Hyunjin was downcast as he said it, as if he was just now comparing their situation to the youngest members, “You aren’t having this talk with them, are you?”</p><p>“No I’m not.”</p><p>“Because they’re handling it better than us, right?” Hyunjin grumbled in disappointment that could only be pointed at himself.</p><p>“It’s not about that Jinnie,” Chan sighed as he collected his thoughts to the best of his ability. He didn’t want to accidently insult them because that’s not what he was trying to do. He wanted to validate their feelings without making them feel lesser, but with the way Hyunjin has been feeling, there’s a high likelihood he’ll take Chan’s words for the opposite intention, “You are Hwang Hyunjin. You’re not Han Jisung, not Lee Minho, or Seo Changbin, are you?”</p><p>Hyunjin blinked at him slowly, “No?”</p><p>“Then you also aren’t Kim Seungmin or Yang Jeongin,” Chan paused as he gave both boys a calculated onceover, “You cannot compare your mental state to theirs. Everyone handles things differently. Some are healthier than others, and I think we can all agree my way of handling things was extremely not healthy right?”</p><p>“Of course not,” Jisgun snorted, “You already work enough as it is, but when you get upset you put in 36 hours straight without sleeping. You’re kind of insane Hyung.”</p><p>“Yeah remember when you passed out under the desk and Binnie-Hyung didn’t find you until morning?” Hyunjin chuckled as Jisung laughed along and Chan groaned.</p><p>“Okay okay, we get it,” Chan whined as both boys quieted down, “I’m shit at managing my emotions. But I’ve gotten a bit better with the help of everyone. Even though I was the only one reacting to stressful situations by putting sleep on the back burner, did that make my situation any less important?”</p><p>“No, are you kidding?” Hyunjin cut in, “You would have literally passed out in the middle of the road if you kept doing that.”</p><p>“Then how does that make it any different from you?” He had turned the conversation back around, but now both boys were deadly silent. They were taking in his words, dissecting the metaphor Chan planted in their head until it started to unravel and make sense, “Just because you aren’t handling things as easily as everyone else doesn’t mean we leave you to suffer. We all work to help each other no matter what.”</p><p>“So… Therapy..?” Hyunjin trailed off, looking at Chan to somehow read his mind and figure out what he was trying to say without actually saying it.</p><p>“Therapy,” Chan nodded his head along with his first word, “It isn’t a bad thing. You already know Lix is going, and I’ve gone before too. It’s really beneficial.”</p><p>“You’ve gone to therapy?” Jisung looked surprised, had Chan not mentioned this before? “But you don’t seem…”</p><p>“Like someone who needs therapy?” Chan wanted to laugh, if he had a dollar for every time he heard <em> that </em>he wouldn’t need to be an idol anymore, “Most people don’t. Not everyone who goes to therapy is a physical trainwreck that can’t function. Most people that see a therapist are people like you who just need help managing their emotions so they can live their life again without them interfering against your will.”</p><p>“How would we even go though?” Hyunjin crossed his arms, “We’re so busy as it is.”</p><p>“The company already offered, remember?” Chan still had the card to the therapy office locked up in his desk drawer, “We will always make time for your mental health, don’t even worry about that.”</p><p>Hyunjin looked like he was going to say something else, but whatever it was died on his lips before he uttered the first syllable. He shrunk back, looking nothing like the angry ball of pent of emotion he was before. Instead he looked resigned, almost embarrassed to say whatever he had wanted. Jisung seemed the same way, scratching the top of his hands anxiously as he tried to think of what to say. </p><p>It seemed he would have to make the first move, “So. Are you okay with me signing you up?”</p><p>Both boys instantly relaxed, giving Chan shy nods of agreement and quiet “thank yous”.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I might end up adding a fourth chapter but I'm not sure? But if this is the last chapter, thank you for enjoying! I'm currently working on a sequel for my ChangLix story "I'll Love You When No One Else Will" so that'll probably be the next thing I upload if I don't do a fourth chapter!</p><p>My Socials:<br/><a href="https://twitter.com/Reltic_">Twitter</a><br/><a href="https://www.instagram.com/_reltic_/">Instagram</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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